tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40889497390386835262024-03-13T18:35:56.222-04:00Musings of an Artistic WitchMy road to serenity, tranquility and sanity through ramblings.LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-12098727771033656032010-08-03T16:57:00.000-04:002010-08-03T16:57:29.628-04:00Vote Now<a href="http://bit.ly/azPFxo">Vote Now</a>: "I love Quickies. Don't you? Please tell the Bare Escentuals Quickie Van to stop in Knoxville, TN. in October. Vote now!"LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-75668788128225658792010-01-30T13:12:00.005-05:002010-06-14T12:19:57.637-04:00Death.....<div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">My parents divorced when I was 2. My dad used to come see me..but then one day, when I was 3, he stopped coming. I didn't know until many years later that my maternal grandfather had taken my father aside and told him that it might be best for everyone if he just didn't come around anymore....so, he didn't. </span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">My father and I were estranged until my paternal grandmother was dying. </span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">I was 26. </span></span></i></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">My father and I spent time together while my grandmother was in ICU, we talked and talked....about ourselves, about each other, about life, our likes and dislikes.... and about death. It was during these talks that my father expressed his regrets about missing out on 23 years of my life. He told me of the talk my maternal grandfather had with him that day so long ago...the talk I already knew of....and he told me how he regretted being so easily influenced in his youth and taking "the easy way out". He told me of his marriage to his second wife and the two sons that had resulted of that union. </span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">So began the relationship with my father. </span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">We kept in touch over the years....letters, cards, emails and the rare phone call. I got to meet his second wife through these means...she expressed her regrets for her part in keeping my father and I apart. </span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">It was his wife that called a few months ago to give me the news of dad's cancer diagnosis.....lung, liver and spine. The prognosis was poor she said. The doctors did a biopsy of one of the liver lesions and were doing radiation treatments on the tumor in his spine, while they couldn't get their shit together enough to decide which was the primary site of the cancer......where it all began. I could have told them in 2 seconds what it took them 6 weeks or so to agree upon. It started in his lung.</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">They began chemo....dad couldn't tolerate the treatments...they almost killed him with them. They changed his "chemo cocktail", different drugs, lower dosages....he tolerated this much better. It still wasn't easy, but it was better than the first round of chemo. "Three months of this and then we'll do more scans to see if it is working" they said. We all "hold our breath" and pray. Dad and I kept in touch during this time through infrequent emails..he was in too sick and in too much pain most of the time to sit at the computer; but, he tried to check once a week to see if I, or one of my half brothers, had written. We even spoke on the phone once during this time. It was good to hear his voice again.</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">Dad called me on Christmas Day. We chatted a bit....and he told me he loved me and that he had just wanted to hear my voice one more time. </span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">It was good to hear his voice again.</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">It was his wife that called me the other night.</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">She called to tell me that my father had died.</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">The chemo hadn't worked. </span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">The PET scan showed the cancer had spread everywhere: pelvis, intestines, lungs, liver, spine......it was throughout his body. </span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">Dad stopped the pointless treatments and they arranged in home hospice.</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">He lived one more week.</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">It would be good to hear his voice again.</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">Rest well dad......rest well.</span></span></i></div><div><br /></div></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-35167636039043305622010-01-26T12:06:00.006-05:002010-06-14T12:21:50.252-04:00Bum...<div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">I've been a bum today.</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">I've done nothing that I "should" have done.</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">I've really done nothing.</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">I've played on the computer, I've had lunch, I've fed the cats (</span></span></span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">again</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">), I've </span></span></span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">looked</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> at the dishes waiting to be washed...but I've not washed them. I've just not wanted to do a damned thing today. I've just wanted to be a bum.</span></span></span></i></span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Does it make me a bad person to not want to do the things I </span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">should</span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> do? I usually do </span></span></span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">all</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> the things I </span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">should do</span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">. I stay busy doing the things I </span></span></span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">should do</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">...and never seem to do the things I really </span></span></span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">want to</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">. I stay busy doing all kinds of things for everyone but me...not that I regret caring for others..I don't. I love my family and I love doing things for them...but sometimes......</span></span></span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">sometimes</span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">,</span></span></span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> I just want to do nothing...or something for me.</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">It makes me tired....</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Thinking of all this should, shouldn't, want.</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-51425803649811754502009-10-25T08:14:00.002-04:002009-10-25T08:20:20.035-04:00<div style="text-align: center;">My morning: get out of bed, feed 2 cats, feed one dog, fill the kettle, set out 2 cups, walk dog, turn on 2 computers, wash hair, prepare my tea.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">His morning: get up, splash water on face, shave.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Now...ALL of my things are done, completely finished, before he even finishes shaving. Oh, I can hear you saying: "well it takes time to shave." No. No it doesn't when you have a BEARD.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">So what's wrong with this picture? Why can I do 8 to 10 things each morning BEFORE he even finishes splashing water on his face and shaving?</div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-79155041654800743982009-06-23T19:12:00.004-04:002010-06-14T12:23:03.733-04:00Long time....<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">Long time since last I was here......</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">ah well...life gets in the way....</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">How sad, and how damaging to one's self esteem is this?</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">Today I was going to have lunch with my sister and one of her friends...I wanted to look nice...I showered, did my hair and I even put on make-up (for a change!). I wore a shirt that is positively "boobalicious" and that looks absolutely fabulous on me. I paired that up with some cute capris, my beaded flips and a pair of my "I made these!" earrings. I looked nice.....no......I looked </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">DAMNED NICE! </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">I was lookin' some kind of good! I was lookin' soooooo good...my husband even noticed and commented on how pretty I looked. COOL!!!!! He doesn't usually notice...I musta been looking REALLY DAMNED </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">FINE</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">! lol! Now that part is all good; I felt fine and dandy. Even felt good about myself and my looks (for a change...</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">yes</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">, I </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">DO</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"> have self-esteem issues). I felt so good, I thought it might be nice to have a bit of "afternoon delight" (surprise hubby </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">and</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"> "reward" him for noticing and complimenting me)!</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">I have lunch, I have a nice time, I enjoy myself (still feelin' good here); my sister, her friend and I finish lunch and sis and I head back to her house where hubby (mine) is keeping the kiddies so we could go do this lunch thing. All is still good....for now.</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">Hubby and I head home (I'm still lookin' goooood..still feelin' fine..still thinkin' "reward").....</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">Hubs heads into the bedroom to change clothes into his "around the house comfy clothes"..typical for him and I thought nothing of it. I follow him to the bedroom, he has his shirt off..I go to him..I kiss him, I kiss him again with a bit more passion, I tell him: "Thank you for telling me I looked pretty today." and I kiss him with *</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">more</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">* passion..I kiss him with A </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">LOT</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"> of </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">passion</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">! What does he do? Gives me a hug, a pat on the back, tells me "I love you...now let me finish changing.", which he proceeds to do...............he then says: "Excuse me.", walks around me and leaves the bedroom! He then proceeds to lose himself in his computer, then something on his iTouch, then the television, then dinner, then the news and now a book.........</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">WTF?!?</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">I'm lookin' fine (by his own admission), I pretty much *throw* myself at him, rub all up on him.....and he shows *no* interest and walks out. How many kinds of ugly must I be for him to do that?</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">damn.</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">that hurt.</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;">that hurt a LOT.</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#990000;"><i><br /></i></span></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-53292365899301339172009-03-24T06:35:00.004-04:002009-03-24T06:40:30.978-04:00Fabulous Day...............<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" >OH YEAH!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" >My fabulous day was indeed fabulous. I look forward to future dates.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;" >It was also good to get to hang out for a couple days with my best friend.....we had a large time....stimulated the economy like we had it to spend! LOL! Said, "what the hell, we can't stimulate much else at our age...so might as well do what we *can* do!". </span><snicker style="font-family: georgia; font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"> We're planning on trying to get together again real soon for another fun weekend.....that and we're trying to plan up a trip to the beach the end of May. WOOT! I *LOVE* the beach!</snicker></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-26790238553045402202009-03-13T19:38:00.003-04:002009-03-13T19:42:49.395-04:00A Fabulous Day....<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">That's what I'm going to have soon......</span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;">very</span></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"> soon. And I am looking forward to it like nobody's business.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">I'm also very nervous about it. I'm such a dysfunctional perfectionist. lol! I want to be perfect. I want to not only live up to...but BE...the fantasy. I hope I don't disappoint.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Y'all say a prayer for me ya heah?</span><br /></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-23367126065184813362009-03-08T17:55:00.002-04:002009-03-08T18:00:21.755-04:00A good day...<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0); font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">A good day is when the numbers on the scale are lower in the evening than they were in the morning.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0); font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">A good day is when I feel energized enough to do a fabulous walk.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0); font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">Its a good day when I get to talk to "my special someone"...and its a GREAT day when I get to hear their voice.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0); font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">A FABULOUS day would be getting to spend the day with "my special someone".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0); font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">Gods I want a FABULOUS day!</span><br /></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-46711937597903943072009-02-23T05:57:00.002-05:002009-02-23T06:06:59.119-05:000:dark:30<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">I've been up since 4:42 a.m.<br />Why?<br />My husband; that's why. He awakened me with a crash, bang, curse word...at 4:42 this morning. He tripped over something...what I don't know. What I *do* know is that he woke me up, knocked over and almost broke a lamp that was my mother's, then made shit loads of noise trying to get the lamp out of wherever it landed (almost breaking it again in the process), then somehow managed to chuck the lampshade and some of the hardware of the lamp onto me, I snapped at him and he snapped at me, I knew it was a lost cause to even think about trying to go back to sleep (for an hour? Why bother....) so I got out of bed...and here I am..up at 0:dark:effing:30 in the effing morning!<br />I hate mornings.<br />I especially hate early mornings.<br />I really hate being rudely awakened early in the morning most of all.<br />Needless to say, I'm expecting today to be a total shit. Husband is already acting like an asshole and not speaking to me. He went out and cleaned off the windshield at 10 til 6....we have another hour before we leave this morning.<br />I told him that.<br />I even said it very nicely.<br />His response?<br />Not even a grunt.<br />So, I know how my day is going to go. I hate days that are like this. I don't need the added stress.<br /></span></span></span></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-28026566340268630392009-02-16T11:10:00.002-05:002009-02-16T11:31:09.057-05:00A day off............<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Having a "day off", enjoying a cuppa hot tea, hubby cleaning kitchen (GASP!!!! lol. not really..he actually is pretty good about that), playin' on the 'puter and just enjoying a relaxed morning. Going to have my hair cut later today and have a facial...I'm really looking forward to those appointments; I need a little pampering. I deserve a little pampering too.....just because I'm me.<br /><br />The weekend was a bit rough....Valentine's Day....and it was a "firsty". This was the first Valentine's Day since mom's death. I hadn't remembered that she died after Valentine's last year and it hit kind of hard when Valentine's arrived. I spent a lot of time in tears this weekend. I spent a lot of time in reflection about mom, her death, all the circumstances surrounding her illness and death. And then last night, while watching television...I tripped over death again. There was a scene in the show "Burn Notice" where Michael was leaving his mother's house, his mother said some things about his leaving so soon, how she was thinking about ordering take out for them...and she had this look on her face..and this tone in her voice.................I remember that look...I remember that tone....I remember it from when mom was so sick and in the hospital and I was leaving after a much too short visit because I was so tired at the end of a day. All she wanted was for me to stay a bit and have supper with her. When I told her I was so tired, she got this look on her face...this look of resignation and understanding and sad acceptance. "Michael's" mother got that look too. Mom said: "I know baby, I know. You're so tired. Its been a long day for you and a hard day. Its ok, go on home and rest baby. I'll be ok. I understand. I love you."<br /> Just one meal.<br />That's so little to ask.<br />And she knew...<span style="font-weight: bold;">she KNEW</span> she was dying.<br />And all she wanted was a few minutes more with me before she did.<br />I wish I had stayed.<br /></span></span></span></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-6093770541526393872009-02-12T18:48:00.001-05:002009-02-12T18:50:34.342-05:00New Rules<span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">For some reason, some of these just tickled the crap outta me......<br /><br />I know....<br /><br />I'm a sick, twisted, psycho bitch.......<br /><br />Anyhoo..................<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's<br />white people's version of looting.<br /><br />New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com ! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days --- mowing my lawn.<br /><br />New Rule : Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster ?<br /><br />New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky b@stards.'<br /><br />New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.<br /><br />New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.<br /><br />New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.<br /><br />New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his @ss will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.<br /><br />New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the @sshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge @sshole.<br /><br />New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN number, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want Cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.<br /><br />New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your @ss. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.<br /><br />New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.'<br /><br />New Rule: I don't need bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.<br /><br />New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good<br />enough to be a movie.<br /><br />New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can' t even tell If he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to<br />wash my hands.<br /><br />New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.<br /><br /></span></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?</span></span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"></span></span></span></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-86074979069568723682009-02-10T18:29:00.002-05:002009-02-10T18:35:19.027-05:00Good Day...Tiring...But Good<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Good day today...tiring but good. The incoming weather has my fibromyalgia in high gear; I'm glad I have the new med onboard....I'd hate to think how I'd feel without it.<br /><br />I've been feeling the urge to draw again.........mom's passing and the fibro had that on hold, but, with the new med I'm feeling better, have more energy, more focus and less aches.......so.........I'm wanting to work on art. I have a couple on the drawing boards in rough sketch, now if I could just pick which I want to work on the most and find some extra time in which to work....I'd be all set!</span></span></span> <span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;">All in good time I suppose. At least I'm wanting to draw again!<br /><br />Not much else happening at the moment. I've decided to continue to put off my rant. I'm still steamed about the situation and I need to cool off a bit more before I talk about it. Beyond that...nada.<br /></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"></span></span></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-57721144181361638212009-02-07T12:59:00.002-05:002009-02-07T13:07:16.590-05:00And now you know why I'm not a stripperName Game - This one is fun!<br />YOUR REAL NAME:<br />Birth: T***y W****n.<br />In school: T***y W****n-G****s<br />Now: LiLi LaVeau Scarbrough (changed for business purposes)<br /><br />2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)<br />Ann Leonard<br /><br />3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)<br />Elwood Wade<br /><br />4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)Scalil<br /><br />5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)<br />Don't have one cat??????<br /><br />6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)<br />Then: Lynn Greenville<br />Now: LaVeau Greenville<br /><br />7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)<br />The don't have one Tea<br /><br />8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)<br />Ligh<br /><br />9.STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)<br />Blueberry Cream Pie White Chunk Macadamia<br /><br />10. PORN NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on)<br />I don't remember my first pet's name....and I grew up on many different streets (we moved alot) so I'll just pick at random:<br />Mittens Meadow<br /><br />11.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name plus izzle)<br />Scaizzle<br /><br />13.YOUR IRAQI.. NAME:(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name):<br /> Then: Rllycylis<br />Now: Ialaliugh<br /><br />14.YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)<br />Black Rue<br /><br />(Oh lets do them all! lol! Black Bubba, Black Pixel (or Black Pixi), Black Bentley, Black Abbey-Rue)[hmmmmm....Black Pixi doesn't sound half bad.......]<br /><br />15. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)<br /><br />I have two (as usual...I am a Gemini you know! hahaha)<br /><br />Black Amythest Turtles<br />Indecence Turtles<br /><br />(now why could I not like a candy with a name like "Sugar Babies", "Heath", "Payday" or "Bit-O-Honey"? They sound sooo much better than "Turtles".)LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-10689735948146822202009-02-04T19:31:00.002-05:002009-02-04T19:33:48.456-05:00Not exactly what I wanted<em><span style="color:#660000;">.....but it will have to do for now. I wanted to add a slideshow to my page in the sidebar, but I can't find one that works well and is easy to set up...soooooo...the one in the previous post will have to do for now.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#660000;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#660000;">The pics in it are some of my art work.</span></em>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-43031275722705088902009-02-03T09:39:00.001-05:002009-02-03T09:39:45.592-05:00<div style="width:480px; text-align: center;"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://w226.photobucket.com/pbwidget.swf?pbwurl=http://w226.photobucket.com/albums/dd56/LiLi_LaVeau/a1cdb81d.pbw" height="360" width="480"><a href="http://photobucket.com/slideshows" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a><a href="http://s226.photobucket.com/albums/dd56/LiLi_LaVeau/?action=view¤t=a1cdb81d.pbw" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn_viewallimages.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-76708466788708419362009-02-03T06:56:00.002-05:002009-02-03T07:15:51.583-05:00Another day...........<span style="font-family:georgia;color:#660000;"><em>Up early, had to get up to see if school was in session today....it isn't....'cause...WE GOT SNOW! Not much mind you...but some; and more is supposed to be on the way today, tonight and tomorrow. I know its a pain in the butt for most people, but I love it and I'm sooooo glad my nieces got to have just ONE good snow to see and play in. I hope they get to have one good snow each year they are children and enjoy having them.</em></span><br /><em><span style="color:#660000;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#660000;">In other "news", I have a rant brewing. I won't go into it just yet because I'm still too angry and I want to be a bit calmer before I "let fly". It does, of course, deal yet again with "the ungrateful get" and their action and behaviours. More on that later.....when I'm calmer....trust me..that will be a good thing.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#660000;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#660000;">Mom has been on my mind ALOT of late. Well, she's always on my mind...but even more so of late. You see, we're coming up on the 1 year anniversary of her passing. She went into the hospital early January of last year and we never really got her back from that/there and then she died on April 9, 2008. Oh gods I miss her sooooooooo frickin' much! No one can understand that hole in their hearts and life, until they experience it. And no one who has experienced it can explain it to someone who has not. Its hard....its so hard.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#660000;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#660000;">The sun is starting to rise now....it is so beautiful on the snow...such a beautiful pinky-peach color which shades the snow to a soft sparkling lavender/white. I wish I could capture it on film or in pastels. Maybe that's what I will do with my day today......draw. It would be good to draw..I haven't done it in so long and I love it.</span></em>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-14557587724379227122009-02-01T11:19:00.003-05:002009-02-01T11:22:05.923-05:00GRRRRRR.............<span style="color:#660000;">Ok, for <strong><em>some reason </em></strong>blogger has decided I cannot respond to comments.....I don't know why....it just won't.<br /><br />So Lenni:<br /><br />Ahhhhhh...thank you! I'm normally a hot tea drinker..but I think coffee is called for here. As you can see, it has taken me forever to get back here....just shows how incoherent I've been.<br /><br />I'll be back in a bit once I get over my frustration with this "issue".</span>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-24655200911987596392009-01-06T06:48:00.002-05:002009-01-06T06:51:08.560-05:00Ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhh......................<div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;color:#660000;">I hate getting up early........................</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;color:#660000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;color:#660000;">..........but I sure do love my little nieces and they are why I get up at an ungodly hour. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;color:#660000;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;color:#660000;">More when I am more coherent.</span></div>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-87974585554908256392008-12-29T12:22:00.002-05:002008-12-29T12:44:15.305-05:00One foot in front of the other....<span style="font-family:verdana;color:#660000;">That is how I'm getting through the holidays.....the first holidays after my mother's death and the first passage of my mother's birthday after her death; she would have been 67 on the 22nd. It isn't easy..but I'm making it. Halloween - done, Thanksgiving - done, birthday - done, Christmas - done, New Years - marching ever closer and soon to be done. Its hard...really hard....I can't even begin to explain how hard to you. Your mother dying changes your life fundamentally. It changes your life on every level, in ways you could not begin to imagine. It pervades the very essence of your life.....and it leaves giant holes. You "trip over death" when you least expect it and it sends you into a grieving tailspin. People tell you these things about the pain of loss: "It gets better with time", "Time eases the pain".....I don't buy that. I don't think it ever gets better and I don't think it ever "goes away". I think we just learn how to "wall it off" a bit better as time passes and we learn new and stronger coping skills to help us along.....................but it never goes away and you still "trip over death" from time to time for the rest of your life. One foot in front of the other.....one foot in front of the other.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#660000;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#660000;">In other news...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#660000;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#660000;">My husband's middle child (the one that does not speak to, nor acknowledge, him) got her 3rd degree over the Yuletide. Now, I'm not Wiccan..so I do not speak with authority here in regards to their practices, but from what I've heard and from what I've learned from reading about their practices and beliefs.........she did not deserve it. As a matter of fact, she didn't deserve her 2nd degree either and she almost didn't get it because she has not dealt with the issues with her biological father. I've always thought, and I may be wrong here, that one of the main tenets of the Wiccan faith is to "do no harm"..that you can do what you want so long as you are not causing harm. She is causing harm. She causes harm every single day to her biological father. She caused harm with that little flurry of "poison pen emails" she sent to him a few years back. She causes harm to him by not telling him why she stopped speaking to him and why she continues to not speak to him. I was told that the only reason she did get her 2nd degree was because the lady/Priestess who did her 2nd degree was new and that this degree bestowment was only the Priestess' second time of bestowing a degree. And this priestess told the recipient that she really didn't deserve the 2nd degree she was receiving, but that the priestess was going to give it to her anyway because the priestess didn't want it to look bad on the priestess by denying the degree to the person in question. Now I ask you.....is that right? I don't think it is....I think it is pitiful and a bad representation of the Wiccan faith and ministry. It certainly is not how I teach, train and award advancement.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#660000;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#660000;">Ah well, what goes around, comes around.....and if she is a follower of the "Threefold Law"..she better watch out.</span>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-27661125625624753702008-12-06T17:04:00.004-05:002008-12-06T17:10:07.864-05:00Why is it?<span style="font-family:verdana;">Why is it..that when I <strong><em>need </em></strong>my husband's help in the kitchen he is silent as death and nowhere to be found.........and when I <strong><em>don't need</em></strong> his help, he is hip deep up my ass in my way saying, "Do you need any help? Is there anything I can do?" </span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Now I have told him not to try to unload and re-load the dishwasher when I am in the kitchen trying to cook (tiny kitchen..no room for that shit).....but when I'm just in there cooking and need no help, he is johnny on the spot in my way, but when I do need him..he is as scarce as hen's teeth.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">How annoying.</span>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-89025859947159004102008-12-05T20:06:00.003-05:002008-12-05T20:18:16.422-05:00Directions Please....<span style="font-family:verdana;">Does anyone have directions to the nearest Husband Dealership? </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">You see, I have one slightly older used model I'd like to trade in. I must confess, this model has had 2 previous owners and after 12.5 years of ownership myself...I can see why. Since this one is an older used model, I don't think I'll be able to trade up to a nice shiny new "muscle car" model; so, I suppose I will have to trade for an older model (being an older owner myself, I don't really need something with too much oomph...a little "git up n go" is fine). I have taken excellent care of this particular husband, so, perhaps I can find an older sedan model that has been gently used to trade for? If not, I'll be happy to trade for an older used muscle car type with some milage on it...you know...something with very little trunk space so there's not much room for baggage and something I don't plan on keeping very long..but that I might like to play around with for a while. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Any assistance you can give would be greatly appreciated.</span>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-78692054078598475732008-11-29T10:36:00.002-05:002008-11-29T10:41:07.149-05:00The Day After Thanksgiving with The Ungrateful Get<span style="font-family:verdana;">......wasn't much different from previous ones. What? You expected something else? lol! A few differences: we weren't at my house; but rather my husband's youngest daughter's house and the food was awful. She absolutely cannot cook. Otherwise, things were pretty much the same...same cast of characters, same shitty attitudes, same snide remarks, etc. The nicest part (besides leaving that is)..the grand children...especially the youngest one; he's just as sweet and cute as can be.................so sad it won't last.</span>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-11063495862429754252008-11-28T12:34:00.002-05:002008-11-28T13:04:49.662-05:00A rant from this time last year as an illustration:Let me preface this by reiterating what sh*ts my step children are. We only have contact (sort of) with two of them (thank the Gods!)...I honestly don't think I could handle dealing with all three! One child has not spoken to my husband in about 12 years and I have never even met her (yeeee-hawww..one less to get fu*&ed over by!); the eldest didn't even bother to call (that's ok...didn't want to deal with his s#*t anyway) and the youngest....ah well.....that is what this "little rant" is all about.........................<br /><br />So...... Let us begin...........................<br /><br />I just thought I'd share our "Friday 'Thanksgiving' experience" with you......and get some sh*t off my chest from it. So, grab a "cuppa" coffee, tea...or better yet..a mixed drink, shot or two of liquor or glass of wine (or three...but only if you are of legal drinking age!)...get comfy and read on if you will. You can just click out of this if you want to..because it is most definitely "a rant and a half" coming up and I can't blame you if you get bored with it or tired of it part way through. Hahaha! Though in some ways it is quite entertaining.......<br /><br />Ok....buckle up.....its a bumpy ride.................. Thanksgiving here was...........interesting.<br /><br />We went to my sister and brother-in-law's on Thanksgiving Day and had a lovely meal. We shared the cooking; on the 21st we put the casseroles together, boiled the eggs and I baked 2 Spicy Pumpkin Cakes; then I went "home" and got the turkey ready for baking. On Thanksgiving Day, my sister and brother-in-law baked all the casseroles, the cheesy bread rings, a rum bundt cake and made the deviled eggs and mashed potatoes - and I baked the turkey. We weren't eating until around 1 so I got up at 8:30, shoved the turkey in the oven and went back to bed with the thought: "Well the turkey is wrapped up all nice and warm and so am I!" (hahahaha) Everything was delicious and it was a nice pleasant day.<br /><br />AND THEN....... Friday............................<br /><br />When my youngest step-daughter (we'll call her: "E"...oh Gods how I shudder to call her "my" anything, much less "my step-daughter") and her husband (We'll call him: "B") came over with their baby (whom we will call:) "T". ("T" is my husband's grandson...NOTE: NOT...I <strong><em>can not stress this strongly enough</em></strong>....<strong>NOT</strong> MY grandson..I don't care how many times she refers to this child as my grandson...<strong>HE IS NOT</strong>. *I* have no children and I'll be damned to hell before I'll claim any of my husband's progeny (from his previous marriage) or any of THEIR progeny as "mine".). OH WHAT FUN we had on Friday...........NOT. As I have stated before, we rarely see E,B,T.....which is fine with me because I can't stand E and B (T..different story..just a baby, not his fault his parents are a$$es). And as you know, about the only time we do see them is when they (read "E") wants something...like when she calls up and "informs" us that it is our "turn" in the "babysitting rotation" and they (she) would like to drop "T" off on such and such day at such and such time so they can go to dinner, movie, have the dog groomed (oh yes, she actually asked us this)...whatever. The whole tone and attitude is, it is our "obligation" to take the child and to be THRILLED and "chomping at the bit/frothing at the mouth" for her to dump her kid on us. I swear, the way she acts you would think this child sh*ts gold coins, was the only male child ever born upon the face of the earth, is the messiah and/or is basically "god incarnate"....all because he's a boy, he's hers and he's the ONLY grandson in her family and her husband's family. And because he is the first grandson, and because she squirted him out...she is the most awesome creature on earth. Yeah, you squirted out a boy....so what....so did billions of other women....big whoop. Ok..'nuff on *that* particular rant for the moment (it will come back around to to that later in the Thanksgiving story that follows).<br /><br />Now to "Thanksgiving"........ (which it wasn't; in any way shape or form) First of all, they couldn't come on Thanksgiving DAY...oh no...they could only come over the day AFTER Thanksgiving day (Friday), because the whole of Thanksgiving Day was already all planned out with "B's" family (E's mother was going out of town or they would have been going there too)....and it was quite obvious that, even coming over here on FRIDAY was a major inconvenience for them. Not only *that*, I fully believe that <em>if my husband had not called and invited them</em> (because he wanted to see his grandson); they wouldn't have even called us for Thanksgiving (a la eldest child)...forget coming over. Secondly: "E" REFUSED to eat anything even REMOTELY resembling "traditional Thanksgiving Day fare", because she would be full of it (oh she's full of it all right) and tired of it from the previous day and if we were expecting them to eat "leftovers" or anything resembling traditional T'Day fare...they might as well not come. (WTF?!?!?!?) Though something like.....oh say.....Mexican food would be fine and they could come eat then. So now she is dictating what *I* have to prepare and serve them to eat AND she is saying "do as I say or we won't come"?!!? I agreed to it purely for my husband's benefit, because he really really wanted to see his grandson (he hasn't seen him in at least a couple of months now). And if we don't play the game by HER rules..then my husband doesn't get to see his grandson. And I want him to get to see "T" because he has already been cut out of the 3 other grand-children's lives. I decided on my homemade "nachos", which are more like a meal than a snack because of the way I make them; plus, they are less difficult to prepare than other Mexican dishes I make...doesn't mean they are easy to fix...just not as difficult to prepare as other dishes. I even made one pan of beef and one pan of chicken so they would have a "selection". I fixed homemade guacamole, had several sauces to choose from, chips and salsa, sour cream, rotel dip.......all in all, what I thought was very nice of me and a very nice meal considering how it came about and considering we couldn't really afford it.<br /><br />They arrived half an hour late; not bad considering we wondered if they would even show since they have a history of either being several hours late, calling at the last minute to cancel or to say "can we do this tomorrow?"..or.. just not showing up at all and not calling to say they won't be coming. They came in, dumped the kid in my husband's arms, gave no hugs, didn't even say "hello" as they waltzed through the door, plopped themselves on the couch and said: "So, what's for eats and when do we eat it?" "E" then proceeded to pull out her latest knitting "project" and work away on it as if she were sitting at home instead of being at someone's home for a "visit" and dinner. All the while positively "crowing" about her new IUD! YU-UCK!!!!!!! I don't want to know that...I don't care about that! My only care in that regard is that SHE won't be reproducing again anytime soon. It went downhill from there. When we told them what I had prepared, "E" rolled her eyes and said: "Oh yummy" (and NOT in a nice way...Now she's dissing what I cooked?!!!!!?!!!!!? What SHE requested be cooked??!!?? ), they "chatted" (you'll understand better when you read the part below about "the litanies"), once everything was ready and I said so, they jumped up fixed their plates and said that there was ONE "good" thing about dining with relatives......THEY (E and B) got to have a "leisurely meal" because it was everyone else's turn to care for the child instead of them (E and B) having to care for the child. "E" fixed a very small portion and barely ate two bites then said: "I'm completely full, stuffed, over full really! Mexican food is just SO FILLING!" and she didn't take another bite. B was at least civil enough to say "Sounds great!" when told what we had, then to take a few bites and say "Yummy" and then he had small seconds. And when B offered to get E some more...she said: "No thanks, I couldn't even eat what I have here." Now I went and spent some pretty hefty bucks to buy all these fixin's...bucks that we REALLY COULDN'T spare (as in...I skipped paying the electric bill this month so we could have the money to feed them!) and bucks that could have been used for Christmas gifts for the children! But, to be nice and to prepare a nice meal, that <em>they requested</em>, and so my husband could see his grandson "T"....I spent the money (and let the electric bill float). "E" made some comment that this was her third thanksgiving meal in two days and then she argued with me when I said that, to me, this meal (on Friday) didn't count as a Thanksgiving meal because the holiday was OVER, the holiday happened YESTERDAY. She continued to argue the point so I point blank told her again: "No it doesn't count....Thanksgiving is OVER, Thanksgiving was YESTERDAY. THIS is just a family visit and meal." She then said in a snotty little know it all tone: "Yeah, well, poultry is involved so it counts." Now she's further dissing what I cooked?!!!!!?!!!!!? AND dissing my opinions, thoughts and feelings??!!??<br /><br />The whole agonizing 4.5 hour visit was a litany of: how wonderful, brilliant, advanced, perfect, sweet, funny, awesome, awe inspiring (ad nauseaum) "T" is. By the way....he isn't. He is older than my sister's youngest child and my sister's youngest is doing things that "T" doesn't do yet, and my sister's youngest has been doing things that "T" has just started doing recently...and my sister's youngest has been doing these things for quite awhile now. "T" will be 1 the first of the year....my sister's youngest will be 1 in June. I found "T" to be quite "backward" for his age. As a matter of fact, I found him to be so "backward"...I will be exchanging his Christmas gift for one that is less advanced than the one I got..even though the box says it is age appropriate for ages 9 months to 36 months and he will be about 10 months old by Christmas.....he's not ready for it. Interspersed throughout the "how wonderful "T" is litany", was the litany of how <em>wonderful</em> "E" is because she popped this male child out of her twally and how <em>every time</em> a <em>male</em> child is born <strong>EVERY</strong> man in the world stands a little taller and says: "<strong><em>YES</em></strong>! A male child has been born this day!" and how she <strong>KNOWS</strong> it happened when HER male child was born. (gag gag) Included in the "how wonderful 'E' is for having a boy " crap was also the litany of "how wonderful "E" is as a person.... how wonderful a writer she is, how wonderful a knitter/crafter she is, how perfect a mother she is, how perfect a father "B" is, how perfect a husband she has, how perfect a housekeeper she is, what a perfect dog they have, how perfect her life is compared to all others, how perfect her child is compared to all others, how... because she had this male child, her step-father (her mother's(my husband's ex-wife's) current husband) stopped drinking/got clean and sober and started treating her better and apologized ( he did so quite tearfully she added)for how horribly he had treated her while she was growing up (..."SCORE!" with appropriate arm action... Yes, she really did say and do that after telling us this story.) . And on and on and on and on...'til I though I would barf.<br /><br /><em>And as if all that weren't bad enough</em>.....anything and everything anyone, but she or B, said was wrong, wrong, wrong...and she would then proceeded to tell us "the right of it". It didn't matter what it was...she knew the "right of it"...the right way to say it, do it, make it, write it, care for it, create it.....and no one else knew anything at all about anything that was being discussed and she let us know it in no uncertain terms. Oh, and did I mention, that she fed "T" his solid foods and then in about 30 minutes she breast fed him (which set off another whole litany about how HER child was the PERFECT weight for his size and how she just could not understand HOW people let their children get fat, because it is sooooooo easy to feed them the way she feeds "T" and then those people wouldn't have fat children), just popped her boob right out in front of all of us and breastfed! I don't want to see that!!!!! I have nothing against breast feeding..but really...be a little polite and decent about it. THEN, when T puked copiously all over the couch (on my brand new $100 slip cover) after being fed a full meal of solids AND a full breast feeding; she didn't even OFFER to help clean it up or help strip off the sofa cover so it could be laundered! Oh no....all SHE could worry about was the fact that SHE didn't have a change of clothing with her. Yeahhhhh......niiiiiiiice. It was alllll I could do to hold my tongue.<br /><br />It was soooooo bad that after they left, my husband looked around at me and asked: "Is it just me, or does my daughter think so highly of herself that it makes you want to puke? She is really so f**king stuck on herself it is sickening". I told him: "Wellll, I wasn't going to say anything....but since you ask.....yes. And not only is she that stuck upon herself; she's that way about "T" and "B" and anything else that is directly associated with them...with one glaring exception: YOU and US. She acts like she, B, T, her brother, her sister, her mother and their spouses and offspring hung the sun, moon and stars and the world wouldn't spin upon its axis if it were not for her and them and the fact that she squirted a boy baby out her twat." My husband agreed that it was that way and worse. My husband said: "You know, this could have been a really nice uplifting, happy little get together....instead...it just left me royally depressed and pissed." <br /><br />I just want to know: if "E" is such a "PERFECT" mother...then WHY is the whole back of her child's head completely FLAT? I was in the medical field for a lot of years (almost 20) and my specialty was OB/GYN....I've seen LOTS of babies and I KNOW that babies aren't born with their heads like that......their little heads GROW that way FROM NOT BEING PICKED UP ENOUGH and from LYING ON THEIR LITTLE BACKS TOO MUCH.THEN...today I find out that "E's" mother has been over for their "weekly visit and dinner" and WHAT does "E" fix for them to eat? Hmmmmmmm????? Whyyyyy.....she fixed "taco pie" (why yes, it is prepared almost exactly like my nachos that "E" rolled her eyes over and barely ate, that I fixed when E,B and T were here on Friday after the Thanksgiving Holiday) and their "taco pie" was positively "DELICIOUS".<br /><br />I told my husband that, as far as I am concerned, I'm d-o-n-e done with E and B and their sh*t. I will NOT be holding my tongue from Friday forward. From now on....its gonna get U-G-L-Y ugly because, I WILL "just say it", whatever "it" is, to them. Now, "T" is another story. "T" is just a little baby and it isn't "T's" fault mommy and daddy are crappy, and I know my husband loves and wants contact with his grandson; so I told my husband that I think, when my husband wants to see "T", we should plan an outing with "T", go pick the baby up and GO. Then when we are finished with our visit with THE BABY...we can take "T" home, drop "T" off and come home; thereby minimizing how much we have to be exposed to E and/or B's crap. As for Christmas.....even though they only live across town (about 20 or so minutes away)....I'm all for mailing them their gifts, or going to pick up "T", bring "T" back to our apartment to get his little gift, visit with him a bit and then drop him back home with mommy and daddy. Of course...we know full well that NONE of that will actually happen ON Christmas...and it probably won't happen anywhere near actual Christmas. The actual Christmas holiday (Christmas Eve and Christmas Day) will be completely taken up by "E's" mother and (now miraculously clean and sober) step-father, B's grandmother and B's parents. My husband will be lucky if my husband gets to see "T" by New Years (which I am quite certain E and B will want us to babysit on New Years Eve so THEY can go out to celebrate the New Year. "NOT GONNA HAPPEN").<br /><br />We sure as hell didn't get to see "T" at Halloween/Samhain...hell, we haven't even gotten to see pictures of him at Halloween/Samhain! And when my husband said something about wanting to see some pictures of "T" in "T's" costume from Halloween/Samhain.....E told him: "Well, we really didn't take very many because we were in such a hurry, so there are only one or two to see and they aren't very good anyway so you wouldn't want to see those." So basically...she told her father to fu*k off and he wouldn't be seeing any pictures of his grandson from Halloween/Samhain. Now get this.....E, B and "T" were all dressed as different Star Fleet characters for Halloween/Samhain....... SO WAS "E's" MOTHER! AND, "E's" mother went trick-or-treating with them! Now, if we can't even see PICTURES of "T" from Halloween/Samhain...why the hell would they even remotely think we'd want to babysit for THEM to be able to go out New Year's Eve. (edit 2008: I have found, since writing this, that there were NUMEROUS pictures taken at this particular Halloween and though we were told there were none and we saw NONE of them...they were ALL [about 25] posted on E's photobucket site. How do I know? I'm a sneaky nosey bitch and I monitor both her photobucket account and her blog)<br /><br />Hmmmmmm.....I wonder how "E" and "B" would like for "E's" mother and step-father, and, for "B's" parents to know that "E" and "B" are PAGAN and DRUID and NOT Episcopalian like "E" and "B" told the other parents they are..........I also wonder how "J" (2nd child who does not speak to us) and "R" (oldest child) would like "mommy dearest" to know that THEY are Pagan/Wiccan/Witch and Pagan masquerading as Jewish. I also wonder how "J's" HP and the "Governing Counsel" would feel about the way she acts toward blood kin.....the way I heard it.."J" almost didn't get her second degree (actually shouldn't have gotten) because of her actions toward her father. And then, to top off everything else....I find out that "E" called her father today and told him that his birthday gift is finally done (his birthday is in spring) and he can come pick it up tomorrow. WTF!!!???!!!! She can't even bring him his BIRTHDAY gift???!! He has to go pick it up????!!!!!?????<br /><br />Don't ya just wish you could have been here for the Friday after Thanksgiving? NOT! (me either) I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I am soooooo over it. And, so is my husband. (Thanks for the "rant time", I really needed to get that out.) Otherwise, we had a very nice Thanksgiving with <strong><em>my</em></strong> family. I certainly hope your Thanksgiving Holiday was better than my "nightmare after Thanksgiving".LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-33682238023223925892008-11-28T12:01:00.002-05:002008-11-28T12:34:07.759-05:00Thanksgiving and the Ungrateful Get<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The holidays are rough for me this year....these are the first holidays since my mother's death in April of this year (2008)....the "firsts" are always difficult they say. So far, this Thanksgiving holiday has been ok..........I've had moments of saddness, they come in waves; so, I "ride out the wave" and then I'm ok for awhile again. So far, so good..............that is........until today. Today I have the "joy" (NOT) of going to dine with my husband's children; well, two of them (and their spouses and offspring) anyway..the third one has not spoken to her father (except for a small flurry of poison pen emails a few years back) in 13 years. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I have "issues" with my husband's children, I always have. I refer to them as "The Ungrateful Get". I hate the way they treat their father. To put a not too fine point on it.........I DESPISE them. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">First off, "Dad" (my hubby) didn't even KNOW that his son (first born child, we'll call him R) was in for the holidays...no call from him, no email, no "hey, tell dad I'm coming in for the holiday" to the son's sister...NOTHING. This is nothing new mind you....this is the norm for every holiday. Second, youngest (a daughter...we'll call her E) was preparing the traditional meal at her new home this year........did we get an invite?.......noooooooooo. But, I didn't really expect one because the elder daughter, the middle child and the one who hasn't spoken to her father in 13 years (with the exception of a flurry of hateful, hate filled, poison pen emails a few years back), was going to be there; as was the children's mother (hubby's ex) and her husband. However, E didn't even call to wish us a happy holiday...oh no....her dad had to call HER in order to wish her a happy holiday. As a result of that call, we were invited to dine with them today..the day after thanksgiving day. So basically, my husband had to call and kind of "wheedle" his own invitation. And yes, I am pissed at him for doing so; even though he says he was just calling to wish them a happy holiday. I asked him what time on Friday and he says: "I don't know, E will let us know". (there may be hope yet! She may not call!!!! praypraypray) We heard nothing from them at all yesterday, then today at noon..she calls (damn you gods! so much for prayer).....dinner is at SIX!!!!!!!!! Why? Because the rest of the day is filled with her mother, sister, brother and her husband's family. So, we're getting crumbs yet again.........and crumbs that my husband had to call and basically beg for at that!!!!! So she calls, dinner is at 6 but she wants us there at 5 TO HELP HER COOK FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!! She also informs my husband that R (son) will be there (I'm not going to pray that R's wife won't come...I remember what happened when I prayed that E wouldn't call)...and, as you already know, we had no idea that he would even be in from his home in Kentucky. My hubby asked if we were supposed to know that R was in since he hadn't bothered to let us know he would be here for the holiday. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">My husband had to get directions to E's home........we don't know how to get there because we've never been invited there. I can not begin to tell you how much I DREAD this evening.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">MY family does not act like his. MY family made plans in advance WITH us. We were included in every step of the holiday planning and were asked for our input. We are ALWAYS welcome at MY family's homes. Give me strength to not verbally wring their necks today. I usually end up finding myself a quiet corner and trying my best to avoid all of them except the youngest of the children. After all, it isn't an 18 month old and a 6 year old's fault that their parents are asses.</span>LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4088949739038683526.post-36713535249582961982008-11-16T22:09:00.000-05:002008-11-16T22:10:37.190-05:00New BlogJust "setting up house".<br />Be back soon.LiLihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101574081070041674noreply@blogger.com0