Friday, November 28, 2008

Thanksgiving and the Ungrateful Get

The holidays are rough for me this year....these are the first holidays since my mother's death in April of this year (2008)....the "firsts" are always difficult they say. So far, this Thanksgiving holiday has been ok..........I've had moments of saddness, they come in waves; so, I "ride out the wave" and then I'm ok for awhile again. So far, so good..............that is........until today. Today I have the "joy" (NOT) of going to dine with my husband's children; well, two of them (and their spouses and offspring) anyway..the third one has not spoken to her father (except for a small flurry of poison pen emails a few years back) in 13 years.

I have "issues" with my husband's children, I always have. I refer to them as "The Ungrateful Get". I hate the way they treat their father. To put a not too fine point on it.........I DESPISE them.

First off, "Dad" (my hubby) didn't even KNOW that his son (first born child, we'll call him R) was in for the call from him, no email, no "hey, tell dad I'm coming in for the holiday" to the son's sister...NOTHING. This is nothing new mind you....this is the norm for every holiday. Second, youngest (a daughter...we'll call her E) was preparing the traditional meal at her new home this year........did we get an invite?.......noooooooooo. But, I didn't really expect one because the elder daughter, the middle child and the one who hasn't spoken to her father in 13 years (with the exception of a flurry of hateful, hate filled, poison pen emails a few years back), was going to be there; as was the children's mother (hubby's ex) and her husband. However, E didn't even call to wish us a happy holiday...oh no....her dad had to call HER in order to wish her a happy holiday. As a result of that call, we were invited to dine with them today..the day after thanksgiving day. So basically, my husband had to call and kind of "wheedle" his own invitation. And yes, I am pissed at him for doing so; even though he says he was just calling to wish them a happy holiday. I asked him what time on Friday and he says: "I don't know, E will let us know". (there may be hope yet! She may not call!!!! praypraypray) We heard nothing from them at all yesterday, then today at noon..she calls (damn you gods! so much for prayer).....dinner is at SIX!!!!!!!!! Why? Because the rest of the day is filled with her mother, sister, brother and her husband's family. So, we're getting crumbs yet again.........and crumbs that my husband had to call and basically beg for at that!!!!! So she calls, dinner is at 6 but she wants us there at 5 TO HELP HER COOK FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!! She also informs my husband that R (son) will be there (I'm not going to pray that R's wife won't come...I remember what happened when I prayed that E wouldn't call)...and, as you already know, we had no idea that he would even be in from his home in Kentucky. My hubby asked if we were supposed to know that R was in since he hadn't bothered to let us know he would be here for the holiday.

My husband had to get directions to E's home........we don't know how to get there because we've never been invited there. I can not begin to tell you how much I DREAD this evening.

MY family does not act like his. MY family made plans in advance WITH us. We were included in every step of the holiday planning and were asked for our input. We are ALWAYS welcome at MY family's homes. Give me strength to not verbally wring their necks today. I usually end up finding myself a quiet corner and trying my best to avoid all of them except the youngest of the children. After all, it isn't an 18 month old and a 6 year old's fault that their parents are asses.

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