Long time....

Long time since last I was here......

ah well...life gets in the way....

How sad, and how damaging to one's self esteem is this?

Today I was going to have lunch with my sister and one of her friends...I wanted to look nice...I showered, did my hair and I even put on make-up (for a change!). I wore a shirt that is positively "boobalicious" and that looks absolutely fabulous on me. I paired that up with some cute capris, my beaded flips and a pair of my "I made these!" earrings. I looked nice.....no......I looked DAMNED NICE! I was lookin' some kind of good! I was lookin' soooooo good...my husband even noticed and commented on how pretty I looked. COOL!!!!! He doesn't usually notice...I musta been looking REALLY DAMNED FINE! lol! Now that part is all good; I felt fine and dandy. Even felt good about myself and my looks (for a change...yes, I DO have self-esteem issues). I felt so good, I thought it might be nice to have a bit of "afternoon delight" (surprise hubby and "reward" him for noticing and complimenting me)!

I have lunch, I have a nice time, I enjoy myself (still feelin' good here); my sister, her friend and I finish lunch and sis and I head back to her house where hubby (mine) is keeping the kiddies so we could go do this lunch thing. All is still good....for now.

Hubby and I head home (I'm still lookin' goooood..still feelin' fine..still thinkin' "reward").....

Hubs heads into the bedroom to change clothes into his "around the house comfy clothes"..typical for him and I thought nothing of it. I follow him to the bedroom, he has his shirt off..I go to him..I kiss him, I kiss him again with a bit more passion, I tell him: "Thank you for telling me I looked pretty today." and I kiss him with *more* passion..I kiss him with A LOT of passion! What does he do? Gives me a hug, a pat on the back, tells me "I love you...now let me finish changing.", which he proceeds to do...............he then says: "Excuse me.", walks around me and leaves the bedroom! He then proceeds to lose himself in his computer, then something on his iTouch, then the television, then dinner, then the news and now a book.........

WTF?!?

I'm lookin' fine (by his own admission), I pretty much *throw* myself at him, rub all up on him.....and he shows *no* interest and walks out. How many kinds of ugly must I be for him to do that?

damn.

that hurt.

that hurt a LOT.